Tapeball Print
Written by webmaster   
Sunday, 31 May 2015 11:24





As well as summer, outdoor, cricket, the club has an extensive programme of winter indoor cricket.  Included in this is its Poloc Pythons team that plays in the Cricket Scotland Tapeball League. 


The 2018-19 midweek league fixtures for the Pythons are below. 



Pythons news and match reports


(Please note that no offence is intended to any third party in the undernoted match reports that are produced with the primary intention of [hopefully] entertaining club members.)



Tapeball League Finals Day [posted 28/02/19] 

The Pythons take on Rising Stars on Sunday at Springburn Leisure Centre, in the second semi-final on Finals Day of the Cricket Scotland Tapeball League.  The match starts at 12.15pm.  Good luck to Irfan Hanif and the rest of the team.



Tapeball League play-offs [posted 09/02/19] 

Cricket Scotland have made the draw for the end-of-season Tapeball League play-offs, the draw seeing the Pythons up against Scot's Strikers in the quarter-finals.  Being played on the 17th of February, the Pythons' match starts at 1.15pm. The other quarter-final ties are: Govanhill versus Renfrew 8, Motherwell versus I Passing Smiles and Rising Stars versus Asian All Stars.


Yar! Vehlaman to the rescue…yar! [posted 26/01/19]

Thursday evening saw Poloc Pythons taking on Asian All Stars. Leading up to this match, Pai Khaled on the opposing team was piping up and giving smack talk after they beat Motherwell CC last week. The Pythons for the first time having near enough full availability of the squad, the selection committee had a tough task. The star from the previous game, Khan0007 MK, eventually told the selectors he was unwell and was suffering from a fever, the Pythons a hero down. Nevertheless, the full team was confirmed. The Glitch (Haseeb) returned replacing MK, and Murtaza in for Piano Junior (Daud), the first time the same players played in more than one match together, the last match this chosen eight played was against.....Asian All Stars. But it wasn't to be! Murtaza, just a couple of hours before the game cancelled due to an emergency. Selectors had to look to, none other than.....The Vehlaman! Known to be vehla 24/7 the team knew they could count on him.
For match preparations the team were stretching and discussing tactics in the changing rooms until Vehlaman came bursting in, bouncing to the tune dedicated to him "Vehla, Vehla", strutting his stuff and shouting "Oh, vehlayo!". Meanwhile, Nutella, who just seemed to have won the lottery with 20ps went around the whole team offering them to the squad so they can have access to a locker.


Captain MI Kobra went out to do the toss, won, and with the quarter-finals in mind, chose to get practice on the weaker aspect of the team's game: he chose to bat. The Windies brothers of Nutella and Piano opened the batting.  After a steady first two overs scoring 20, Nutella went on a rampage. Smashing Asian All Stars around with huge maximums, he looked as if he had taken a note out of MK's game! He showed no fear and eventually retired in the fourth over showing why he's the overseas pro' and why the Pythons signed the contract with him. Piano also went out in the same over leaving the Pythons 49-1 after four. In went Abdullah and Johnny Bairstow who returned as quickly as he went out, bowled first ball.  Quack, quack.


While all this was going on, Vehlaman was outside at the table signing autographs but only one fan appeared. One fan who thought Zakir the Vehlaman was 1. the highest scorer in the Sunday League, despite playing weekday Evening League.  2. Vehlaman was the team manager.  3. Vehlaman was in his 20s.  4. Any time a wicket fell, he wanted Vehlaman in to rescue things!  Who was this young fan of Vehlaman's?  "YAR!!"  That's all you would hear Vehlaman say.  In fact he averaged saying "YAR!!!" 1.5 times in every sentence.  Actually sentences themselves would start with "YAR!"  Eventually Zakir had enough and shouted the loudest "YAR" you would hear, followed up with "HUNNAIN JUST GO!" gesturing towards the exit door. Vehlaman was vexed. The Glitch on his return wanted the Afro Power to fuel himself during the game and would place his hand on the 'fro, summoning the power. The Glitch, after obtaining the afro power, went in next, promoted up the order by MI purely due to being left-handed.  MI was actually counting on the opposition bowling extras, and that they did, at least 4 coming from the over.  "YAR!"  The Glitch was gone next over though and the run-rate had begun to slow a little.  Then in went Booger T (Bogey) with MI reminding him there were plenty of wickets left, and with three overs he had to attack.  Booger T sniffed a bogey in acknowledgement but did the opposite with Abdullah, both starting to argue with each other, and Stone Island got out. After these couple of overs had been wasted, MI picked up the bat the way he'd pick up his own zalim and went in with the mindset to blitz the opposition. And so after another talk with Bogez on aggressive play they both started running everything they could, upping the run-rate.  However Bogez became the victim of an unfortunate run out where MI smashed one, it clipped a fielder and hit the stumps: Bogayrit out of his crease, and gone! The moment Vehlaman's biggest fan had been waiting for: his hero was out at the crease!  The team manager had a few words to say to the Captain "Bro', yar, I'm just gonna run everything"!  And that he did, even running on a bye off the last ball - which is against the rules – finding himself face to face with MI as he ran all the way before the ball hit the back wall, which led to him being run out. Vehla stunt. MI on 12* made sure the total had been boosted and the Pythons had a fighting total of 93. "Oh Zalimo".


The Pythons opened the bowling with Piano : a decent over, minus the 6 coming off his slower ball! But  he did take a stunning caught and bowled: ball hit off the wall, The Glitch tried going for it and if he was a few centimetres taller he'd have taken it, but it went over him and The Piano, running in and sliding, took a sensational one-handed catch! The ball looked as if it was about to hit the ground but was plucked with that last-minute slide!  The Glitch then took the reins, bowling a superb over and only giving away a couple of runs.  He marked his comeback with some serious GAAASS, taking a wicket with one caught by Johnny Bairstow. A good start.  The Maal, promoted up the bowling order, bowled his "Ali Maddock ball" first up, but it was deemed a no-ball! Then a couple of wides. The rest of the over was steady, and he could have had a wicket except Piano dropped the ball with a low one-handed attempt.  However with great awareness, he then picked the ball up immediately and rocketed a throw at the stumps: batsman gone! The Pythons were pumped!


However, it wasn't all smooth sailing for the team, with the quarter-finals in mind and wanting everyone to get as much practice as possible, a change in the usual bowling order came about. Booger T was given the over and started off well, before his last few balls which saw one whacked for a maximum. The team and umpire thought the over was bowled out, but, no: after a lengthy debate the square-leg umpire stated there was one more ball to come. Bogey bowled a wide,…..and then a no-ball,…..which was whacked for 6!  An expensive over, but the Pythons still ahead of the game as Asian All Stars were 48-4 after four overs.  But the opposition then started building momentum. To put the pressure back on, Captain Cobra brought Haseeb back into the attack, and The Glitch didn't disappoint: his over only went for 3, and he bowled one that shattered into the stumps. Another scalp!  However the over that completely changed the game was when Johnty Allan came on: one batsman took a liking to him and was hitting him for several 6s, Johnty receiving the biggest spanking that any of the Pythons bowlers have received in both tournaments combined – it eventually went for 31 runs! The tide had changed, and the Asian All Stars were now favourites, in fact, the game looked out of the Pythons' reach as only 12 runs were needed from two overs!


But, "YAR!", in came the Vehlaman to the rescue, bowling a superb penultimate over!  With few runs to play with, Captain MI decided to cut off the singles by bringing the field up and leaving only one man at the boundary.  Risky, but the only way to take the fight to the opposition, and it worked! First ball Vehlaman strikes! "YAR!!!"  The danger man gone!  Caught excellently by The Maal at extra cover!  In came motor mouth Pai Khaled, and he would struggle against the Pythons' own motor mouth, Zakir, whose executing superb death bowling, bowled tight, with MI at mid-wicket ensuring nothing went past him.  Pai Khaled got frustrated, and launched one off the wall.  It went quickly to Johnty Allan who looked like he could take the catch with two hands but smartly moved his left hand away and took it one-handed! One wicket remaining! The Pythons were in with a chance! The over went for 6 and the great King Kobra had one wicket to take and 6 runs to defend.  The odds were still in the batting team's favour, but the team was relishing the challenge.  Same tight field, MI coming around the wicket.  First ball: wide!  Second ball: a tight wide!!  With the team shouting at the umpire "Oh yar, how's that a wide?!?"!  Third ball: a marginal front-foot no ball!!!  A horrible start and the game slipping away…..but MI, smiling away, holding his nerve, finally got it right.  Next ball: bowled really tight, the batsman, though struggling to get bat on ball, decided to run.  But the ball landed into the hands of Piano who fired the ball into the stumps and…...GONE!!!!! THE PYTHONS WIN!!!! The team, in jubilation, run wild chasing each other round the hall and get into a huddle cheering away shouting "OIIIII!!" with Zakir's number one fan joining in.  WHAT A WIN!!!!


Back to back wins and a star was born [posted 18/01/19]

The Pythons were back in action again after their local derby last week against Dynamic Dale and were going head on with the Greater Pollok Eagles in this round. Team changes saw with Nutella in for Timmymoor, and Kurly Suejjad in for UPS Shah.....until a last-minute cancellation from Kurly (who was informed late on in the evening, the day before that he had a “report” to do)!  This saw the Pythons struggling for a player, however the quick-thinking MI opened this up in the official Poloc WhatsApp group chat. Three vehlay were reported to be interested, but on first come, first served basis, special agent vehla, Khan0007 MK confirmed. This of course led to MK being up to his usual no good self, harassing captain MI for a lift, only for him to then turn up to the ground in a rented, sporty BMW!  Supposedly it’s the car supplied by the government that’s now been upgraded from a taxi to a BMW Sport.


Afro MZ, known as Prince Vehla, was too vehla to be avehlable for the game, yet spammed every player along with Poloc’s social media manager for over by over updates on the game. Vehla.


The Pythons went in to this match looking to secure qualification for the quarter-finals knowing that if they lost, it would mean another round of waiting. Captain MI - having been informed by the mole Pai Khaled that Motherwell CC who were second in the table had lost - decided to win the toss and bat first to boost the side's run rate remembering they'd previoully blasted 127 against this opposition. All looked to be going well as the toss was won, and the Pythons sent the opposition out to field.  But then, as we all know, along with Pythons' followers right around the world, things don't go anywhere near as planned. 


A new opening partnership with Johnty Allan and overseas pro' Nutella Ramzan at the crease saw a slow start and hesitant running between the two, which eventually led to Nutella getting run out in the second over. Piano Boy then strolled out but the Pythons just couldn’t get any momentum, and lost another wicket with Johnty getting bowled. Pythons 18 for 2 after three overs. While all this was going on MK was hyping himself up saying “Let me go in next”, with his biggest fan Abdullah saying, “Aye, aye, send him next bro', he can go ahead of me”.  However, once the next wicket fell Abdullah ran out with the bat leaving MK stranded and betrayed!?! 


The opening duo from last year were now paired together, batting three and four, and that history of poor running between the two continued: hesitation and the conservative mindset from Piano led to the Pythons missing out on some easy runs and resulted in The Maal being run out without causing much damage due to a standard mix up between the two. The top four were really struggling to score and running between the wickets was near non-existent. They reported back that "The wicket is slow, and the ball is not coming on!”, followed by, “I think the ball has changed”.  Aaho.  But, fortunately, in came star man MK, at 27 for 3 from four overs.  The Pythons were in trouble.  MK didn’t hold back and went out swinging at every ball, hitting some big 6s, with two back-to-back, upping the run rate nicely.  With MK only dealing in boundaries, Piano thought he’d do the same, but after only partial success he departed soon enough.  The score had though gone up to 67 for 4 with six overs now gone.  This brought the self-proclaimed “Finisher” to the crease, and yes,.....he was finished.  A platinum duck for Bogey Sohail


MK was still going at it though, and didn’t look like stopping.  In came MI, only to be told that MK had to retire as he had passed 30.  MI wasn't happy as he was looking forward to batting with someone of his caliber.  With MK still able to come back in if a wicket fell, MI went on the aggressive, and his first ball was despatched for 4. The opposition, out of desperation given this late onslaught, then decided to bowl a couple of slower balls and MI became a victim of one and had to depart.  But this just brought back in the man of the moment: MK.  With only an over left and him being on 30, he, alongwith Piano junior (Daud), went for it. First ball of the over: hit for 4.  Next ball: 6!  There was no stopping him,.....until Daud decided to run taking MK off strike!  MK eventually finished on 46*, and helped boost the Pythons' total to over 100.  What an innings!  WWith 100 to defend the Pythons went aggressive in the field too: only two at the back wall and the rest up, choking off the opposition's runs the idea. 


Piano opened the bowling and was stingy: only 3 runs coming off his over.  Piano Junior bowled next, bowling several extras: an expensive over in terms of Pythons' bowling in this innings, but nevertheless a wicket came off the last ball with a good catch from Johnty Allan at long on. Piano senior was then back, with a run out taking place after smart work in the field by the players and Nutella, with one stump to aim at, somehow running out the batsman who looked to be making his ground easily. Both openers gone.  Another run out chance then presented it, the ball falling to MK who, for some reason, rather than aiming at the stumps, fired the ball at the umpire who was at the side and injured him!  The umpire was down.....and so was everyone else,.....With laughter. The Maal was next on to bowl, “Yar, I’ve not slept all day, yaar”.  However it didn’t seem like this had affected him as he constantly dived around in the field with some excellent saves.  He then proceeded to outsmart the opposition with each ball: first ball was as slow as Ali Maddock’s quicker one, and it nearly bounced twice! The Pythons' fielders who were still in tight in the field executed another run out, this time Johnty Allan hitting the stumps from the boundary. Next ball, Abdullah fires in a quicker one and deceives the batsman: BOOM!  Stumps hit.  A great over from Abdullah led to another one from Bogey, very similar to Abdullah’s, bowling out a batsman and being economical in to the bargain. The opposition were now 37 for 5 in five overs, and now with just two wickets remaining. Johnty Allan into the attack.  He gave nothing away and got a wicket too: a short one that the batman hit into the air, Johnty going for it but backing out to let MI, from mid-on, to steam in and take the catch comfortably!  One wicket left.  Who’s the over going to be bowled by? None other than hero Khan0007 MK!  First ball: no ball called!  Second ball: quick, straight and crashing into the stumps! Poloc Pythons had bowled out the Greater Pollok Eagles for just 56 and won by 44 runs, securing qualification to the quarter finals!  OOOIIIIII!!!!!!


Great all-round performance in the field and bowling.  The Pythons were near enough flawless, minus a couple of misfields at the back wall. However the Pythons will need to be more decisive and up their running between the wickets as the tournament progresses.  But for now let's celebrate that Today we witnessed a star being born, Khan0007 MK


Pythons got zalimed! [posted 22/12/18] 

Tuesday's showdown saw Poloc Pythons take on Govanhill CC. Stated to be mouth-watering match-up after the Pythons upset the opponents last year and then narrowly lost out in the return leg against the eventual winners of last year's tournament.  There was some smack talk between the teams leading up to the game with Govanhill CC's skipper stating the Pythons team was "nothing great" and were just a "fielding team", this had the team hyped-up with their mascot Afro MZ piping up the whole week leading up to the game, even uttering the following words repeatedly "zalim, zalim, zalim...” moments before the game.  The team only saw one change from the side that just lost out to Motherwell CC, with Taimoor being replaced by John. 


The Pythons won the toss and elected to bowl first, with Piano bowling the first over against the formidable opponents.  And it was an over that did not go so well.  The team had been banking on a great start, like they had had throughout the tournament, but Govanhill showed why they are a quality side, hitting one of the most consistent bowlers in the tournament for two boundaries, with a maximum included.  Piano's first over went for 14 runs compared to previous game when his two overs went for less.  The Pythons on the back foot.  It only got worse from there, Johnty Allan replaced Piano for the second over and was whacked for 26 runs: the most expensive over in the game!  One wicket did come from it though, and that was from Captain MI.  Reminiscent of when he ran out Pai Khaled: a quick pick-up and turn, firing the ball to the non-striker's end: batsman well short of his crease and.....gone!  Nevertheless, it was still a bad start for the team, 40 for 1 from two overs.


Curly Suejjad was brought on to bowl next, bowling full and getting some yorkers in.  A sound plan, right?  No.  The batsmen hit two maximums with very big straight hits and saw him off with ease. Another run out did take place, but the over went for 21.  Pace appearing not to be working, a change of tactics: the Maal was brought on to bowl.  An interesting over: a wicket could have come from it.  With the batsman hitting straight, the Piano on the boundary went for the hand jump, ball pops out and goes off the wall: boundary and the umpires award 5 runs!  The over, on another day, could have gone for 4 runs plus a wicket, but ended up going for 9!  Run were, however, drying up.....a little.  Looking for wickets, MI turned to his wicket-taking bowler, and put his trust in Piano for a second over.  But this didn't go so well as it saw more of the same as his first over.  And it wasn't helped when, on the boundary, MZ Afro dived over a ball that went for 4.  However because it touched a fielder and then went to the boundary, 5 runs were given instead of 4!  Another slip-up in the field. 


MI, the Captain, the "role model" of the team, then came on to bowl.  MI, who at this point was extremely vexed, decided to take matters into his own hands.  He'd bowl the sixth over. But he had too much zegalim, with the first ball being a beamer, near enough head height.  This saw the batsman do a Ruman-style tennis shot,.....and hit it for 6!  Second ball: another beamer!  And, he was off!  Kids, this is why you don't try acting like a hero!  Guess the "role model" part wasn't so true or believeable.  Captain MI was first to trot out the excuses though: "Oh yaar, a tried holding it like this".  This simply invited a word from Vice-Captain Afro MZ which put him in his place.  So who to replace him?  The man who he learnt from: Beamer MZ.  The crowd was loving the entertainment,...both of them.  With Whonnain encouraging them even more by shouting for the whole of the team, Afro MZ came in to bowl.....but pulled up, holding his back, looking as if he was getting an excuse in early.  But no excuse was needed: he bowled a superb over, minus one big 6 from a batsman who retired.  His part of the over went for 9, but he also took a wicket, the ball hitting the roof, and Pythons all slithering around looking for the ball in the air thinking it had got stuck in the roof.  All the Pythons bar one that is.  Bogey Sohail, seeing the ball ricochet off the wall and fire back at him at square leg, took a fantastic, one-handed, diving catch!  He caught it like a bogey is caught in his nostril.  Excellent stuff!  The run-rate  was slowing down a bit, but was still quite high after the onslaught from the first few overs.  Whonnain next to bowl.  The new improved Whonnain that is!  Or, maybe actually, should I say the old Whonnain, since he was back to wearing his old sweatband!  But he bowled well and an excellent over cost only 3 and saw two wickets taken: a one-handed catch from Johnny Allan off the wall, and then clean-bowled victim!  Asked after the game what had changed, Whonnain said, "I was wearing my sweatband, yar, and this makes it easier to bowl, innit”.  The Pyhtons were slowing the rate down, but by this point Govanhill had already passed the 100 mark.  Nutella bowled the final over and was impressive: some dots, a 6, but his figures were eventually ruined by some shoddy fielding off the last two balls. Captain MI, a couple of metres away from the stumps, missed an under-arm throw at the non-striker's end, and then, last ball, Piano decided, from a few metres away, to launch the ball and saw it rebound off the walls resulting in extra runs, prompting Abdullah to say, "Yar, what the hell was going through your head?".  Govanhill had amassed a total of 126.


With 15 runs-an-over needed, Pythons needed an aggressive start. Nutella and Piano sent in to open.  They got the team off to a good start with 15 runs coming from over one.  But from there on in, the chase collapsed.  Nutella was a little too aggressive and ran himself out, and, next ball, Johnty Allan, without facing a ball, was run out splendidly by the opposition!  The ball was smacked hard by Piano, the fielder at short mid-on flicked it on to the stumps and Johnty Allan, in his crease but with his bat in the air, was gone.  The Pythons had gone went 15 for 0 to 15 for 2 in two balls. Afro MZ, who was in supreme form from the last game, was then brought it in to salvage the innings, and up the run-rate.  But after a while he, too, fell to the best bowler in the league.....along with Piano. The Maal and MI were in next, trying to recover the innings, but by this point the game was gone.  With only 32 runs on the 'board, and four wickets down after just four overs, they stuck in, doing their best to see out the rest of their overs.  Some intelligent running between the two, saw them run a rare double, but shortly after The Maal was bowled.  Curly Suejjad was next in, wearing glasses, but we don't think the glasses are the problem as he was swinging wildly at everything, playing out a near maiden over aside extras.  The non-striker's view was that he saw curls interfering with Curly's eyeline and made him swing like a wounded animal.  MI did his best to ensure there was no collapse, playing sensibly, but with the required run-rate in mind, and only an over-and-a-half left, he looked to attack Govanhill's best bowler.  He hit an excellent cover drive, leading to next team to come on shouting, "SHOT!!!".  But eventually he hit one too many, in the air, and was gone.  Crowd silenced.  Whonnain in to bat, with the partner who coined him "Whonnain".  The two had a fruitful partnership, as they tore apart a part-time bowler with some excellent shots.  In fact we witnessed something we thought we'd never see, Whonnain hitting a 6, and it was a mighty one!  The team would, however, limp to a total of just 71, losing by 55 runs.


After such a hefty defeat, against the best team in the tournament, the Pythons had a lot to reflect on.  The aggressive play from Govanhill took the team's bowlers by surprise and killed off any momentum in the first four overs.  The Pythons did try to come back well, but when they didn't get hit their fielding let them down.  At least 20 runs were thought to have been lost in the field, and there were 15 in extras.  Unlike against Motherwell where there was some brilliance on display, as well as some ordinary moments, this time they were fully exposed as.....just ordinary. Definitely a day to forget for the team as this wasn't just a defeat.....it was an annihilation! 


Pythons momentum derailed..... [posted 12/12/18]

This week we saw the titans of Poloc Pythons face Motherwell CC. The match between the two of them could see the Pythons go top of the league or lose their unbeaten run to a deadly opponent. This would be the team's toughest challenge yet, as their opponents were unbeaten until they came across last year's champions Govanhill CC who they just narrowly lost to. Again, the Pythons were a changed side and looked to be under-powered for this game, a lot of vehlay unavailability making selection tricky. With the Glitch, Murtaza and John unavailable, Froggy Malik still "studying yaar", the team drafted in Kess with Afro MZ back in after his one match suspension. The Pythons though were struggling for the last player and eventually found themselves with a player who pulled out of the tournament days before the first match,…..Taimoor Ahmad!

Motherwell CC won the toss and elected to bowl first, they were kind enough to give Piano a couple of warm up balls, and it wasn't pretty.  The first practice ball resulted in Piano being clean bowled, leading him to ask the Captain "Is the batting order still the same?" Of course it was!  The successful opening partnership of Piano and The Maal wasn't going to change now.  An argument then broke out between the two on who would take the first ball. The Maal persistent "Yar, I never take the first ball, bad things happen when I do."  Maybe he should have though, as bad things could have happened to the other team, but no, first ball from their gun bowler to Piano just missed the top of the stumps. Simply just too much pace, resulting in the next ball,…..clean bowled.  The Pythons' highest averaging batsmen departed…..for 0!  Rambo came to the crease doing his mandatory shadow drives and swivels, him and Maal then seeing off the first two overs, hitting the ball off the walls, accumulating runs, taking no risks with the running.  But speaking of risk, the opening bowler returned, and Rambo decided to go for a big one but instead picked out the man at the boundary.

Taimoor, making his debut, played himself in cautiously to see out the over. Maal back on strike for the next over started to up the run rate, but eventually was dismissed…..rather unluckily. It was a huge hit down the ground and was gone for 6 you would think, but the opposition player took the catch one-handed off the wall and appealed. After much deliberation between the two umpires it was given OUT!  It appeared the ball had hit the last part of the roof and not the back wall, a centimetre or two lower, and it would have been a huge one. Captain MI was the next man in, receiving an ovation and loud cheer as always but he wasn't on strike as the over had been bowled. Taimoor then hit one to point and it's off the wall.  MI seeing an opportunity, after slight hesitation, set off.  Unfortunately the ball went to the best fielder in the opposition team: direct hit; just short of his crease, MI out without facing a ball - no heroics tonight. The crowd dispersed.

Afro MZ
, vexed, came out with a purpose, and he did what many others couldn't do.  He steadied the innings with Taimoor, and was scoring with a blistering strike-rate, batting intelligently with excellent running and utilising the walls (team, please take a note!). It therefore looked as if a competitive total would be posted, only for a blunder to happen: the batsmen at the crease thought there was one more over left in the innings - and they weren't the only ones – however the dugout thought the same as the umpires?!?  And so after a lengthy check with the scorers the conclusion was the full overs had been bowled.  The Pythons had limped to a total of 69.

A low total of 69 to defend the Pythons had their work cut out.  Piano to open, and, first ball?  You guessed it: no ball!  However a complete mix-up between the batsmen resulted in a run out!  It appeared to be an excellent over until the last ball which went through the man at the boundary, resulting in 5 runs.  Taimoor then bowled the next, a barrage of no balls as he got used to the game, and then a huge 6!  He came back strongly to finish the over however.  Piano was then back, kept it tight, only for another mix-up between the batsmen,…..and another run out!  At 22 for 2 from three overs the Pythons were very much in the game.  Abdullah bowled the next over, which, despite the extras, was quite good, and resulted in yet another run out! The team was showing some excellent fielding, slithering around and taking their chances!  Curly Suejjad just like others before him, bowled well minus the extras, only going for 6.  But the over we were waiting for finally came, Afro Zalim, with ball in hand, started his over the way he finished his last one…..with a beamer!  Warning given, but he came back strong.  However what could have resulted in an excellent over turned out to be the opposite, three dropped catches at the boundary, and a couple of diving efforts that should have been taken.  Bogey actually saved 6 runs (like he claimed last week), a full reach jump and a one-handed stop.  But too hard for the catch.

Amongst all this action another run out took place too, and the Pythons also missed out on a chance of yet another!  Motherwell CC on 47 for 4 and two overs left with 13 runs to get.  Bogey to bowl the penultimate over.  He started with extras, which was plaguing the team.  A run out chance came though: direct hit!  Not given!  And the batsman and bowler had collided! Bogey, back from injury, injured again. But he bravely continued the over, bringing another run out chance: Taimoor going for the striker's end from the boundary narrowly missing and the batsmen run 2!  6 runs coming from that one ball!  Last ball of the over, 1 run needed and…..Bogey bowled a wide! Game over.  In an entertaining game, the Pythons are defeated!

This may have not been the Pythons' best team, but they narrowly lost to tough opposition.  Defending 70, and with the Pythons giving Motherwell at least three overs more with the extras, they somehow managed to take it to the end of the penultimate over. The Pythons actually did quite well and shouldn't have even been in the game with all the extras bowled and boundary mis-fields! It could have easily have been a win if the team had performed slightly better in either one of the disciplines. Next up for Pythons is the most formidable team in the tournament, Govanhill CC. The Pythons will need to be at their best, as they were last year, to topple the team that has only lost one game in both tournaments combined! That loss occurred against…..the mighty Pythons.


Pythons at their best... [posted 07/12/18] 

The Pythons were back in action against Asian All Stars. Touted to be the Pythons' toughest challenge yet, and judging by the name alone it would be something you might believe. The Pythons had a dilemma though: their mascot Afro MZ received a one-match suspension due to his onslaught of beamers in the previous game. And, Froggy Malik wasn't available as he had to "study, yaar" - many believe he was studying the game of tapeball given his feedback from the last game to Coach Ruman: "Yar, it's too fast". The Messiah Hassan Ali Wide was also left out of the squad due to availability. This brought about three changes: Johnty Allan back in, bringing diversity; the loudest Bogey on earth, Hunnain; and the much anticipated return of The Glitch (Haseeb). 


As usual, there were some shenanigans before the game with Rampro and The Maal making Captain MI tour round all of Glasgow city centre to get them to the game.  With Rampro going from street to street like a tourist, cab driver MI was chasing him around from destination to destination, only for a 'phone call from The Maal "Bro', this bus man, it keeps on stopping, I'm not gonna make it on time. yar". And so, due to his city centre tour, MI advised him to be in the city somewhere, as the way things were going with Nutella, he'd eventually bump into him at some point. Then came several 'phone calls from the suspended Afro MZ, filling in for Coach Ruman, started, asking for his whereabouts.  So MI had to balance three calls at a time; from MZ, Maal and Nutella, eventually putting his 'phone on "Do not disturb"!  This nonsense was ongoing for some time with the Pythons looking likely to forfeit their match due to already being late, and looking as if they would not even make the cut-off point of the extra fifteen minutes provided to teams.  However, finally, Nutella made it to the location he was originally meant to be at, and, round the corner, guess who's there: The Maal! All good to go. The trio then tried to call the rest of the team to give them an update. Several 'phone calls to different team members, no-one picking up!  Alas, everyone seemed to be on the O2 network!  However with an update eventually given,  MI engaged his car into sport mode, and the full squad was on site in no time at all.  The Glitch was midway through the toss when MI arrived, and so when he saw the last trio arrive and he elected to bowl first.


Haroon opened up and got the game going with a few no balls: a poor start.  This included him being very late and rushed too.  It looked as if it wasn't going to be the Pythons' day. However, that all changed in the space of three balls: the Pythons were at their best! Piano Boy was whacked, but MI Cobra was slithering around and took a deadly catch, just clinging on! Next man in for All Stars was none other than Pai Khaled a.k.a  BOOM, BOOM!  But he tapped the ball and looked for a single, only for a quick pick-up and turn from MI, with one stump to aim at, that saw him throw the ball and shatter the stumps.  Danger man well short of his crease, and out! Then Piano Boy, steaming in, pitches one short.  It's hit off the wall, and in comes Johnty Allan taking a superb one-handed diving catch leaving the opposition three down in one over!  Brilliant! 


Then on comes the star bowler from last year: The Glitch, who really seemed to have glitched as he malfunctioned and gifted several extras.  Uncharacteristic, nevertheless his over went for less than 10.  Murtaza was next, and bowled the usual tight, economical, over that he's programmed to do.  Over to Johnty Allan, who took the ball.  A couple of balls in, the ball is nicked off the wall and Nutella with an excellent match awareness dives forward at point and takes the catch one-handed, superb! 


The pressure was mounting on the opposition now. A few dot balls from the over led to a dab to square-leg, but Bogey, with an excellent piece of work, stopped the ball from hitting the wall with a diving save.  Then Murtaza, quick to react, saw the batsmen running, picked the ball up and executed the run out!  All Stars five wickets down now, two wickets left for the Pythons to take. Johnty Allan would then take another.  Bowled!  The batsman was left bewildered, as there appeared to be no sound and the stumps seemed not to move.  Off they went, in disbelief, but not until the umpire gave the signal.....for the third time!  One wicket left now and we were into the fifth over.  Piano to bowl.  The first ball was whacked straight back at him, and with next to no reaction time he took a superb catch and the Pythons were celebrating! 


After such an excellent bowling and fielding display the Pythons were buzzing! And, with a total of just 32 runs to defend, the All Stars went out to field.  And here's a thing: despite the Pythons being late, they were all in match kit; the All Stars however?  Four of them rocked up in jeans, and just one with a shirt!  It seemed as if the All Stars were ready to go to Glasgow Quay for some shisha, yar.  Amyway , back to the game: in a change from the usual batting order Piano was rested, and opening the batting were the late pair: Maal and NutellaAll Stars started off with their express pacer who looked extremely quick and troubled the opening pair when he got his line and length right.  They did well to see him off only for Abdullah to then struggle against the change bowler who was nearly as good!  Beaten for pace with a straight one, Maal was first to depart.  This brought in the slimey one - The Bogey - not sure what sport he was playing, but any time the ball was bowled he was hopping around, the way Froggy would in the garden.  Eventually the bowler did everyone a favour and bowled the same one he had bowled to the Maal: Bogey out.....for 0.  So in came MI Cobra to steer the ship and ensure there was no collapse: a brief chat with Nutella to see off the bowlers and rebuild the innings.  Some good running between the wickets, watching the ball carefully, and they were edging towards their target. 


All Stars though weren't going to go down without a fight, and so they brought back their number one bowler and he struck first ball. Despite the wise words of Nutella - "He bowls straight, watch the ball" - he'd become the victim of an excellent yorker.  This called for the leading run scorer for the team to come in and save the day.  And after a brief chat with the captain to "See off this over" the new batting pair then received "chat" from the opposition.  However this didn't stop the pair, as they batted and added 14 together, Piano Boy finishing things off with a straight 6 down the ground!


Pythons win by five wickets!


An absolute stunning display from the team, the Pythons bowled out their opponents in a record time of only fifteen minutes and in just 4.1 overs!  An all-round collective team performance with a brilliant victory making it three out of three.  The team's next two games will be their toughest though as they will be facing two of the current top three in the league.


Two from two for the Pythons [posted 02/12/18]  

The Pythons were back in action again versus the imposters that are Greater Pollok Eagles.  Will the real Poloc team please stand up?  For this match-up the Pythons made some changes to their squad, with two new debutants in - Hasan Ali Wide and Froggy Malik. 


The Pythons lost the toss and were thrown in to bat first, with the consistent openers both being given lifelines. First ball, Piano boy Haroon hit one straight to mid-off: an easy catch dropped and a single run. Second ball, Roadman (Abdullah) spooned one straight to point: the catch taken.....well, until it was dropped. The Pythons were playing dangerously. From there on, the Pythons didn’t look back though, scoring at a high rate, with some big hits from Haroon and a couple from Abdullah. At last, their partnership was broken, not by the usual run out, but by Haroon having to retire as he got past 30.  Well played.  In came the Sri Lankan pro' Rampro, going at a nice rate with the Roadman: Pythons passed 50 in four overs.


Still having seven wickets in hand, the plan was to attack. And the Pythons did just that, with each batsman scoring above double figures and doing their best to boost the total as high as they could. Then the moment came that we were all waiting for, Hasan Ali Wide and Froggy Malik at the crease together. Some dodgy running between the two and the Frog was seen leaping around between the wickets living up to his name.


The Pythons had posted a big total though: 128.


Defending 128 should be an easy task many would think, but, as we know with the Pythons, it is never easy.  The second innings started off well, with the Piano starting off well albeit with a boundary coming off the first over: the ball going through Abdullah for four.  Murtaza, next up, was economical, getting an excellent run out. This brought the Piano back and he got out the danger man with his first ball.  The game looked firmly in the Pythons' grasp as the over was another economical one.  Next up was Hasan Ali Wide, the star player.  But he didn't live up to his name, extras being racked up, not from wides, but from no balls. Finding his feet, he came back with some good deliveries and a run out was executed. So an expensive over compared to the first three, but, overall, decent enough.


Greater Pollok Eagles were 38 for 3 after four overs.


The next over then had it all, bowled by none other than Afro MZ.  Where do we start?  First ball: no ball.  Second ball: no ball, and it was a beamer resulting in a warning from the umpires!  Third ball: a lovely yorker, and he beats the batsmen claiming a wicket.  "OIIIIIII!!!!"  Fourth ball: no ball bouncer which resulted in him having to be replaced.  Only one legitimate delivery bowled!  But during the play Afro MZ, smart enough to realise the batsmen were running between the wickets, with a quick pick up managed to hit the stumps resulting in another wicket.  As per the rules, the bowler who has been taken off has to be replaced by the player in the team that wasn’t going to bowl, bringing in Nutella to replace the Afro who went aggro.


Nutella started the same way his replacement had - first ball: beamer!  It looped over the batsman's head, doing Ali Maddock proud! Second ball: a legit' delivery.  Third delivery: a wicket!  A good caught and bowled by Rampro; a low diving catch off his own bowling. Next ball? Yep, a beamer! So, what now? Three legitimate deliveries bowled, two bowlers pulled out of the attack!  Other players bowled out and three still left to bowl.  Surely there was a rule for this scenario?  However,.....there was not.  The umpires decided they would designate numbers to players with the others' backs turned and then pick a number.  The umpires picked, and who came out of the lucky dip as the winner?  Murtaza!  The Pythons were happy with this as the past two overs had brought the opposition back into the game.  Murtaza did his usual, bowled exceptionally well, not giving many runs away. 


Despite the calamity from offenders Rampro and Afro MZ, they had managed to get three wickets in the never-ending over.  So only one wicket left for the Pythons to get, and Abdullah coming up to the Captain MI to observe, “Yar, the game is slipping away a bit”.  With Captain MI entirely aware of this he brought on one of his most consistent bowlers at the death, the Maal.  This change looked to be the correct one, as the runs had been racking up and the Pythons getting sloppy in the field leaking runs. The first couple of balls from the over were no balls though, and then a six!  Then it just became comical, with fielders losing their heads with overthrows, extra runs here, there and everywhere, more extras, and a boundary! 


The batting team now only required 38 runs from two overs: the match had been turned on its head and the Pythons could be facing a loss from a commanding position.  And, there were two bowlers who hadn’t bowled before in the tournament.  With one ball easily resulting in 3 runs (a tap off the wall giving 1 run, running between the wickets giving 2), ten of these plus a couple of boundaries from the twelve remaining balls could see the match being Pollok Greater Eagles'.  And so it was that Captain MI Cobra was given the ball.....by himself.  First ball: front foot no ball with the batsmen crossing. Second ball: the exact same!  Many were now worried that there was some match fixing going on.  However MI was never worried, as he was just finding his form. Next ball: ball bowled outside off inviting the batsman to play.  Hit in the air and off the wall, coming towards MI with several coming in to take a one-handed catch.  But Captain Cobra had other ideas, he had seen the batsmen's indecision and that they were out of their creases.  And so instead of taking the catch one-handed, he flicked the ball on to the stumps, the players looking at the umpire appealing!  For a moment the umpire stood still, not moving.  The Pythons wondered what the verdict was?  Another second went by.....the umpire still not making a decision.  But, finally, the finger was raised: OUT!  The Pythons had won by 28 runs!


After the initial celebrations at the victory, the heads of the team were down: against a weak bowling attack and poor fielding side, the Pythons had been let off.  It wasn’t a case of who performed better, but more so who performed less worse!  An ugly win, and not one to celebrate really.....


Matchday one win over the 'Dale [posted 21/11/18]

Irfan Hanif reports on last night's Tapevall League match.  "After last year's quarter-final loss, leaving the thousands and thousands of Pythons fans with heartache, the team found themselves back in action last night versus their arch-nemesis from the WDCU: Dynamic Dale. Making a derby game the main event for Tuesday night's start of a new campaign was hailed as a smart move by the organisers, as the two giants teeing off against each other would be akin to Pakistan versus India, Celtic versus Rangers,.....Poloc Panthers versus Poloc Academy, or.....Ruman Roids versus Froggy Malik! 


"Having been the only team to topple last year's eventual winners Govanhill CC - who went on to beat the Scotland team! - the Pythons had high hopes that they could go far in this year's competition. Hampered by some immaturity and unavailability last season, the Pythons were busy off-season, with captain MI bolstering the squad with some new signings making sure none of last year's shenanigans would arise again. And so it was a new-look Pythons, and a diverse team, with dem kalas (Nutella), dem goras (John) and dem vehlas (Zakir). There were also some last-minute changes to the team though as the Bogey (Hunnain) injured his ankle doing ballet, and the Glitch (Haseeb) was unavehlable (unavailable) due to a prostate exam'! And so the finally confirmed team for the first match would be West Indian (Haroon), Sri Lankan pro' (Rambo), The South African (Jonty), The Colombian (Abdullah Escobar), the curly brothers (Kess and Zakir) and the Pakistani amateur (Murtaza), all led by MI Cobra.


"And so with the air horns blaring, and flags waving, the coin toss was done, with the Pythons winning it and sending Dynamic Dale in to bat first. First over was taken by the piano player Haroon, although, he decided to bowl seam rather than his piano playing spin. He bowled a great first over keeping it tight with one shot smashed off the leg-side wall, aaaaand…..TAAAAKEEN!!!!! Superb catch by Jonty Allan, taking the catch one-handed! Great start. Jonty Allan was next to bowl and what an eventful over it was, first ball: FOUR! The ball goes through Curly Sue-jjad (Kess)! Second ball: DOT BALL. Third ball: WICKET!! Fourth ball: NO BALL, with a warning from the umpire,.....and we won’t bore you with the rest as a couple more no balls came along until,..... another WICKET! Two wickets in one over, an excellent start as Dynamic Dale were three down after two overs. Piano comes back on to bowl the third, and again keeps it tight. Murtaza does the same in the fourth, with a WICKET!, first ball. Second ball: RUN OUT by the Piano from the boundary! Then came 'Fro Man (Zakir) for the fifth, and he decided to make the game entertaining…with the opposition five-down. 'Fro Man starts chucking no balls hoping for free hits so the Pythons have a decent total to chase.  This was a long over that the umpires had to stop as it got boring. Some people thought there was music playing in the hall, when, instead, it was just Haroon playing the piano at cover. A big over it was though, which was needed by Dynamic Dale. Next up was Abdullah - 'Hold on, let me take my cap off, yar' - and this time music was playing, some Grime hit the speakers as Fadezone had to make his entrance as he is no next man. That entrance was enough to put off the facing batsman, who was so vexed, he hit one straight back down the ground, only to for it to be TAAAAKEEEENN!!!! by Curly Sue-jjad.  A low diving-forward catch. An excellent effort. But the umpires weren't convinced and wanted to go to the third umpire,.....only to realise there wasn't one, and so took the fielder's word it had been taken cleanly. The big screen confirmed this. A very economical over from Esco. One wicket and two overs left. Kess bowled the penultimate over, following in his curly brother's footsteps with several no balls, even though the last wicket came from it. The sleeping giant, MI, who had been dormant for most of the game, had shown excellent awareness in seeing the batsmen running but stopping midway.  He then grabbed the ball, and demolished the wickets, Jonty Rhodes-style. Dynamic Dale bowled out for 79.


"The chase was then on, and it was the usual pair of Esco and Piano. Ticking away the score, the pair would then be hit by the inevitable: a run out between them. This brought John to the crease, who, with Haroon, steadied the innings, the latter going for big hits. Haroon was eventually taken out by a good one-handed catch and departed for a solid 25. In came the main man, the Kohli, doing some shadow shots on the way to the crease.  However, second ball, he smashed a straight drive, only to be caught by the bowler. A successful chase never looked in doubt however despite the quick wickets, and the over that sent everyone home early belonged to Judas, switching allegiance back to the Dark Side. What was then witnessed was the worst over in tapeball history, with no balls every ball, in fact so bad that the umpires just got sick of it and took him off. John and Murtaza then saw off the replacement bowler to seal the game with four overs to spare. Pythons win by 5 wickets, and man of the match goes to Haroon Tahir for his all-round performance. Excellent start from the Pythons with a win already registered and an all-round contribution from each member of the team."





Last Updated on Thursday, 28 February 2019 15:40